MARYLAND STATE - If you’ve lived in Maryland for more than five minutes, you know that the state’s official sport isn't actually lacrosse—it’s defending the Old Line State’s honor. Marylanders are a fiercely loyal, flag-obsessed, and seafood-snobbish people. While we are generally approachable, there are a few surefire ways to turn a pleasant conversation into a heated debate at a backyard crab feast.
1. Crabs Seasoned with "The Other Stuff"
In Maryland, there is Old Bay, and then there is "everything else." If you try to steam a bushel of blue crabs using any other seasoning—especially that yellow-labeled imposter from New York—you will be asked to leave the premises. We don't just use Old Bay; we treat it as a primary food group.
2. People Who Can’t Navigate a Roundabout
Specifically, the ones in Towson or Annapolis. Nothing spikes a Marylander's blood pressure faster than a driver who treats a traffic circle like a four-way stop. We have places to be, and your hesitation is ruining the delicate, high-speed ecosystem of the merge.
3. The "State Flag" Critics
Yes, our flag is loud. Yes, it looks like a medieval knight had a fever dream about a chessboard. And yes, we are going to put it on our socks, our car bumpers, our dog’s collar, and potentially our skin. If you tell a Marylander our flag is "too much," we will simply buy another flag-patterned crab mallet to spite you.
4. Being Called a "DC Suburb"
While many of us commute into the District, do not ever tell someone from Bethesda or Silver Spring that they live in a "suburb of Washington." We are Marylanders. We have our own identity, our own taxes (unfortunately), and our own superior driver's licenses. We aren't an annex; we’re the main event.
5. Mushy, Filler-Heavy Crab Cakes
If a crab cake contains more breadcrumbs than lump crab meat, it is a culinary crime. Marylanders hate "restaurant-style" crab cakes that look like hushpuppies. If we can’t see the giant, jumbo-lump pieces held together by nothing but a prayer and a tiny bit of mayo, we aren't eating it.
6. The I-95/I-495 Gridlock
We have a love-hate relationship with our highways, but mostly it's hate. The Capital Beltway is a circle of hell that Dante forgot to include. Spending two hours moving three miles on a Tuesday afternoon is a shared trauma that unites everyone from Gaithersburg to Glen Burnie.
7. Soft-Shell Crab Slander
Outsiders often react with horror at the sight of a whole fried crab—legs and all—served on a bun. We hate explaining that, yes, you eat the whole thing. It’s a seasonal delicacy, not a dare. If you don't like it, more for us, but don't look at us like we’re eating a sea monster.
8. The Indianapolis/Annapolis Confusion
It happens on national news, it happens in business emails, and it happens on the phone. We are the home of the Naval Academy and the "Sailing Capital of the World." We are Annapolis. If you think we’re in Indiana, we’re going to assume you also think Old Bay is just "salty paprika."
9. New Jersey Claiming the Best Pizza/Bagels/Beaches
We are a very competitive state. While we respect the Jersey Shore, we will defend Ocean City and the Assateague ponies to the death. We hate the "Mid-Atlantic superiority" battle, mostly because we already know we have the best geography—from the mountains of Western MD to the Chesapeake Bay.
10. The Slow Fade of the "Local Spot"
As we’ve seen in our recent 2026 economic reports, Marylanders hate seeing their neighborhood staples replaced by delivery-only kiosks. Whether it's a legacy Pizza Hut in a rural county or a cherished local diner in Baltimore, we value the "sit-down and stay awhile" culture. Losing that community fabric to a digital-only transaction is a bitter pill to swallow.
